The "By Your Side" Program: A Supporting Hand for Pregnant Widows

The Swords of Iron War has presented numerous challenges to Israeli society, including a particularly complex reality: dozens of pregnant women who have lost their partners since the beginning of the war, during military service, reserve duty, or police service.

Among over 350 new widows, dozens were pregnant at the time of the tragedy - a phenomenon of unprecedented scale.

This reality has created an urgent need for a unique, comprehensive and sensitive response to support women facing an especially complex crossroads in life: coping with tragic loss alongside pregnancy - a time that is meant to be exciting and full of hope. This led to the establishment of the "By Your Side" program - a holistic and unique solution for widows during pregnancy.

The program was developed following a comprehensive process of an assessment of needs, consultation with experts, gathering of professional knowledge, and direct consultation with the widows themselves.

The Midwives Association introduced this collaboration based on a model from the United States (MCoC - Midwifery Continuity of Care), recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO) and successfully implemented with single mothers and women whose partners were deployed far from home. The model has been uniquely adapted to the Israeli context. It is an approach to pregnancy and childbirth care in which one midwife or a small team of midwives provides continuous support to the woman throughout all stages of pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period. The goal is to establish a personal connection, enhance the sense of security, and promote positive health outcomes.

The "By Your Side" program is designed for any woman who has been widowed during pregnancy. Accompaniment is provided until the baby reaches the age of one. Support begins from the moment you join the program, regardless of the stage of pregnancy, and continues after childbirth.

Loss during pregnancy may increase the risk of postpartum depression. Therefore, the program includes professional monitoring and close emotional support throughout the pregnancy and in the months following childbirth.

The uniqueness of the "By Your Side" program lies in the holistic and comprehensive support provided to widows. It is a flexible and dynamic support system tailored by a social worker from the relevant district, offering personalized assistance to each woman. The social worker will refine the available services for the widow out of the possible options, based on her individual needs and preferences.

The solutions are provided on three main levels:

Beyond the numbers and descriptions, we believe it is important to share the authentic voices of the participants themselves. Reut (a pseudonym), who lost her husband in the war while she was pregnant, shares her experience: "Knowing that I have a pair of midwives accompanying me, who know my story, who understand the complexity of the situation – it makes a tremendous difference. Amid all the pain and confusion, I felt I had someone to turn to, someone holding my hand throughout the journey. It doesn’t ease the loss, but it certainly gives a sense that I’m not alone in this journey".

One of the midwives accompanying the widows in the program adds: "We are not just professional companions; we are there for everything - answering questions in the middle of the night, accompanying them to medical tests, addressing concerns. The bond that forms is unique, and the privilege of being there for these brave women is immense".

Currently, the "By Your Side" program continues to operate, with part of its activities funded through donations. Simultaneously, research is being conducted in collaboration with Tel Aviv University and Ariel University, aiming to evaluate the model's effectiveness and its suitability for similar situations in the future.

The goal is to implement the program as a permanent solution for pregnant widows, with the understanding that the unique needs in these situations require a tailored, comprehensive and sensitive response.

The "By Your Side" program is a clear example of how support systems can mobilize during a national crisis to provide a holistic and comprehensive response. It highlights the importance of collaboration between various entities and the ability to develop unique and tailored solutions, even within a complex and challenging reality.

Our goal is to ensure no one is left alone. For every individual facing the dual challenge of loss and new parenthood, there is a supportive hand, a system that accompanies and cares, and an entire community that is there for you and for the newborns entering this complex reality.

There is no need to submit an application or contact us. Every woman who becomes widowed during pregnancy is contacted by the social worker assigned to her, and the support is tailored together based on her needs. For any questions about the program, you can reach out to the social worker from your district.